You are getting ready for your first date with a guy that you think you really like. How great it would be if during your date you had a sense of how well it was going, to get the feeling that there might be a second date in the future. Here are a few things to look at to see if he is interested in you, and if he has the attention or maturity to see it through.
1) Was your date made in advance? The most meaningful dates are those that are planned and scheduled a few days in advance. Did your date ask you out a couple of days ago, or do you get the sense that it was more of a last minutes idea? A gentleman that wants to show his thoughtfulness by planning, and not by assuming you can just be free when he calls, is worth taking a second look at. A last minute date means one of two things – he doesn’t pay attention to important details like planning his time with others, or he has a last minute cancellation of some type. Maybe his night at the game with the boys was getting rained out.
If it seems like a last minute hook up, say no. If he likes you, he’ll ask again and will already know that you’re not into the short notice date. If he doesn’t get that, then you are better off without him.
2) Is he showing ” I’m interested” body language? Humans, evolved and highly intelligent though we are, when we are attracted to someone we revert to some basic animal-like tendencies. So, if you watch carefully, you can get a pretty clear picture of whether this new guy is into you. Just like a beautiful peacock displaying his feathers, your date may soon start to preen right in front of you. Don’t worry, he won’t be wiggling his tail feathers at the dinner table, but he will be showing his interest. Do his eyebrows lift, even if only slightly, as he talks to you or when he sees you across the room? Is he stroking his chin or cheek as the two of you chat? Is he smoothing his lapel, straightening his tie, or pulling up his socks? That’s right, pulling up his socks – if he’s doing this, you can be almost certain he is way into you.
If your date is not doing this, and shows more closed off body language, he may not be interested. However, it may also be that your date is extremely nervous and shy. If you are interested in him, and want to make him feel more relaxed, there are things you can do to turn the energy around a bit. Start by relaxing your own body language – sit comfortably, leaning slightly forward with your shoulders relaxed and arms to your side or resting easily on a table. Be open, slightly energetic and friendly. A gentle smile can do wonders in helping the other person relax.
3) Is he lingering or dashing off after drinks? Some people like to plan a rather short first date, so if he asked you for drinks or coffee, and then ends the evening, it may not mean much. However, if he ends the date pretty quickly with a thanks and good-bye, he may not be calling you. And, quite frankly, would you really want him to call after that. If he lingers or even asks if you’d like to go dancing after this drink, things are going well.
4) Does it matter if he doesn’t kiss me after the first date? Probably not. It is an awkward moment for everyone. If he doesn’t kiss you it can mean many things – he was shy, he chickened out, he thought you were shy, he didn’t want to seem too forward, he’s waiting for the second date, or maybe he’s not sure if he wants to move forward. Don’t put too much weight on that doorstep moment.
5) Why did he say ” I’ll call you” ? That is a pretty natural thing to say at the end of a date. To men, it isn’t the kiss of death that some women might think it is. After a Friday date, if he calls you by Monday it’s a pretty good sign. If he hasn’t, it’s likely that he won’t. If he does, he’s probably playing the field a little more than you would like. He’s playing out his options. If you aren’t into that, start looking for someone else to connect with you on your terms.
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